Me Venting at SEO Email Spam

*HI* * * *We are  SEO freelancer ** now we offer you our SEO service at cheapest cost  so and we attached SEO service offer document kindly check it.* *If you have any question about our offering services or cost of it kindly inform me* * * *Waiting for your positive response * * * * * *Thanks* * * *Regards* * * *Link Build Expert*

(In response to the email above)
Dear SEO Email Spammers,

Please stop emailing me your promises for “increased of the best SEO servicing.” Your grammar is atrocious – which, to start, would guarantee I wouldn’t hire you or even respond to your email regardless of the service you were offering. 

The fact is, the engines take into account horrendously poor grammar. You’re revealing up front that you’d be a terrible candidate for the service you are spamvertising. Plus, 5 minutes after I deleted your first unsolicited email, another copy of the exact same email came through.

The first email was a bummer because it revealed a poor marketing plan. The second email was just annoying and disrespectful. I want to know if your mass email campaigns actually convert. Do people really email you back, offering you their credit card info, believing you are a legitimate SEO expert ready to provide excellent service? I can’t imagine anyone would – but I guess if it didn’t work, there wouldn’t be so many of these spamvertisements coming to me every week.

Peace, Love, and Unicorn Flavored Rainbow Grumdrops,

The Eclectic SEO

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